I've been thinking for a while, people who are already dead before you were born, you can't really miss them like people you knew.
Yeah, maybe they would've been important to you, maybe they wouldn't have been, the only time you can really seem to miss them, is when people who knew them tell stories
When you look into those peoples eyes and you can see all the feelings they had about those dead ones.
You can miss the memories that other people have and tell you about, but if they don't tell you, what is there to miss?
There is only the missed opportunity of getting to meet someone that could have impacted your life.
You can only miss what you could have had, and you will never know if you would have had it or not, even if that person had stayed on this earth longer.
Passed away people can have a big impact anyway, I wonder if my dad or mom will be alive long enough for my kids to know and remember them.
I look around at all the people who have grandparents, and I miss both of mine so badly.
All I can remember of my grandmother is her smile, she had a really pretty smile.
And I know the stories.
I know the look in my mothers eyes when she talks about her.
My mom says I look and act like my gramma.
She says Gramma would be proud of me.
That cuts pretty deep.
I think about my kids, and how I will tell them stories of my cranky old grandpa.
I remember so much of him.
I remember his smile and how he laughed so much, and I notice that my dad has his hands.
I notice that my father drinks a lot, maybe more than grandpa, and I know thats partially what killed him.
I know that my mother smokes a lot, and that is what killed my grandma.
They did not just die, they threw away their lives, they let themselves be killed by addictions.
They were such good people, happy and carefree, but they let bad things go for too long, and now everyone, even my children will suffer.
I don't like knowing these things.
I don't like remembering.