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About Varied / Student Member DredUnited States Group :iconraining-blood-saga: Raining-Blood-Saga
The Ultimate Quest has Begun!
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Hey, do any of you play Game of War - Fire Age? If so, you should let me know :) we could benefit each other in the war effort.
  • Mood: Sorrow
  • Listening to: Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas
  • Playing: Game Of War - Fire Age
  • Drinking: Apple Cidar
I've been thinking for a while, people who are already dead before you were born, you can't really miss them like people you knew. 
Yeah, maybe they would've been important to you, maybe they wouldn't have been, the only time you can really seem to miss them, is when people who knew them tell stories
When you look into those peoples eyes and you can see all the feelings they had about those dead ones.
You can miss the memories that other people have and tell you about, but if they don't tell you, what is there to miss?
There is only the missed opportunity of getting to meet someone that could have impacted your life.
You can only miss what you could have had, and you will never know if you would have had it or not, even if that person had stayed on this earth longer.

Passed away people can have a big impact anyway, I wonder if my dad or mom will be alive long enough for my kids to know and remember them. 
I look around at all the people who have grandparents, and I miss both of mine so badly.
All I can remember of my grandmother is her smile, she had a really pretty smile.
And I know the stories.
I know the look in my mothers eyes when she talks about her.
My mom says I look and act like my gramma.
She says Gramma would be proud of me.
That cuts pretty deep.

I think about my kids, and how I will tell them stories of my cranky old grandpa.
I remember so much of him.
I remember his smile and how he laughed so much, and I notice that my dad has his hands.
I notice that my father drinks a lot, maybe more than grandpa, and I know thats partially what killed him.
I know that my mother smokes a lot, and that is what killed my grandma.
They did not just die, they threw away their lives, they let themselves be killed by addictions.
They were such good people, happy and carefree, but they let bad things go for too long, and now everyone, even my children will suffer.
I don't like knowing these things.
I don't like remembering.
She feels guilt
Because that is all she has ever known
And to do that to someone else
She doesn't know what else to feel
She feels anger
Because they did the same thing
Her hand was forced
She was dying
She was sick
She wonders if they knew that
She wonders if they cared
She watches them
As they pass
And she wonders how it lasted as long as it did
She was taken for granted
And one day her voice was gone
Did they panic
Did they miss her laughter
Her stupid jokes
Her dumb smile
Her annoying obsessions
Did they know how much it hurt her
To know that they didn't care enough
To know that when they cried on the phone
It didn't matter
Because it was too late
To know that when she knocked on the door
And they didn't answer
She was gone forever
To know that she would never eat at their table again
That home just wasn't home anymore
And she didn't remember when home ever was
That she had a scar for everyone of them
She had a name mark for every time they made her cry
That her heart was pieced together with ribbon and pins
But the blood was just too much
What would they do, if they knew.
What would they do, if they saw the things she saw
If they felt the unsteady beat of her heart
As it dropped
Swallow it away
All the things she didn't say
Choke it down like pills
Before the blood spills

I'm so afraid
She says
I'm so messed up
She says
I'm so sorry
Sorry
Sor..

She stop talking
Finally she shut up
We can get some peace and quiet
Not

She breaks things with her words
She splits ears with the thoughts she has
They don't understand
They don't get it

Why does she even care any more
She doesn't
She lies
Again and again
She lies

Hypocrisy
Pain
Suffering
Hate
Grief

They overflow at night
When all she can do is fight
All the blades and the flames wait
And she loses faith

When will it end
These golden days
Because doubt creeps in
It seeps in
Like water through the cracks
Or into a sponge

She's tired
She's scared
She's sick
Sick of the pain
But it comes in waves
And it stays in close

This is a grudge match
The scars are ugly
And some still bleed
And her throat is so rough
She can't tell you what she needs

Just sit down
Calm down
Chill out
Relax already

But she can't for long
When she's alone
She's sad
She remembers
She knows
And she wonders
All the time.
Who needs sleep
Its a demon in disguise
Who needs sustenance
Its a poor little liar

Who needs to remember
Its all just a dream
Why so many questions
Unraveling at the seams

Shhhh, be quiet
You'll wake up the dead
Shhh, shut up
You'll wake up my head

Does any of it matter
No not really
But so much betrayal fills in the blanks
All my responses end with a sarcastic Thanks

What was I doing
Just bleeding alone
What am I doing
Just looking for a home

Will you cry little child
Will you run to your Mother
What will she do for you
She's a burnt down cover

They all failed you
Daddy left you home alone
They all tugged at your sleeves
Their touch breaking your bones

Run to find a remedy
While you wish you were just a memory
There is too much sensory
Its a dead melody

She's crying
She wants to play with metal
She's dying
She wants to settle

With blood running down her cheeks
She cut her hair today
Wonders if they see
What she's hiding away

Its been years
Since she watched it all disappear
Different ways to cope
When she lost all hope

She just wishes she hadn't seen
She wished she hadn't watched
She wanted someone to grab her and hold her
Cover her eyes and save her

But no one did
She watched the picture fall apart
She watched it go up in flames
How it ripped up her heart

Now she wants to go to heaven
She would claw at the gate
Just to see if, to see if it was too late
Or if he made it to the other side

She wants to see
She wants to feel
She wants to forget
And find out whats real

She wants a remedy
For her poor memories
She wants a melody
To banish all the misery

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Shikyo-Uchiha's Profile Picture
Shikyo-Uchiha
Dred
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I have a great ginger boy friend named Tristen and my internet god-father of wisedom is :iconzevais:
I write Poetry and sketch, and a lot of my time is taken up between working in the theatre and spending time with my family and wonderful boy <3
I listen to mostly rock and country music now ^^
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:iconlorian-nod:
Lorian-Nod Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Love clones=llama :)
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:icontnobody0214:
TNobody0214 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014
Shikyo are you still alive?
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student Writer
:huggle: Thanks for the favourite :D
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:icon3232warriorfan3232:
3232WarriorFan3232 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Student Digital Artist
OMG THIS IS REALLY TOTALLY RANDOM,
BUT YOUR WEBCAM IS LIKE,
THE BOSS OF ALL WEBCAMS! :icontwilightwowplz: XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist
I am on my iphone, and it is horrible for typing or doing anything on the deviant art site. I've read your latest note on the iphone. I just wanted to say I'll be replying tomorrow afternoon. Tonight is a bit hectic for me; I didn't want you to worry about how long I will take to reply.
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(1 Reply)
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