RaddRebel

Hey everyone, if you’re still there to read this, I hope you’re doing well! Just as a small update, I am 27 weeks pregnant with my second daughter, and things have been going relatively smoothly with this pregnancy. My daughter turned 2 mid April, and she is hell on wheels haha. It’s gona be great having two little ones running around, I can already tell XD. Someone please pray for me haha.

Now, recently I have made contact with a writing group for fanfiction and other original works from AO3 and I was encouraged to put up my own fanfiction. I’ve been getting back into writing, and I have really been enjoying it! I wanted to share my AO3 account for anyone who wanted to read what I’ve written. Everything I’ve uploaded is to the Naruto fandom, and it’s all pretty PG or lighter, so don’t worry if you aren’t into darker or more explicit writing. In the future I may post different genres, but for now I’ve just been working on feeling out the characters and just trying to get them right. If you do go over the to read, maybe give me a shout out and let me know you came from Deviantart. Knowing will bring a smile to my face haha.
Here is the link, and I hope you enjoy my writing if you do hip on over there. Thank you for your continued support <3

archiveofourown.org/users/Radd…

Hello everyone
I have some good news and some bad news that i need to vent about.

The good news is that we are having our second baby <3 I am 17.5 weeks pregnant right now. We are not sure of the gender yet, we should find out on March 19. Everything has gone pretty smoothly so far, other than the fact that I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis gravidarum which is basically morning sickness on steroids.

Trigger Warning: suicide


The bad news, is that a very close friend of ours committed suicide a couple of weeks ago. He left behind a a big family that needed a father and husband. He lived for a couple of days on life support and we had hope, but it slipped away with him. He hasn’t been buried yet, he had to be flown back to his home state. We saw him two months ago, with plans to meet up again. He had texted my husband just days before about a magic card combination he was excited about. Since his passing I have been very reclusive. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I’m having a hard time with motivation. I really just don’t want to leave the house. I’m exhausted all the time, which is the pregnancy as well. Life is just really hard right now. We cannot go see him and tell him goodbye for the last time. We cannot hug his family and express how sorry we are and how much we love them. I am tired. I never wanted to go through this. I hope I never have to deal with something like this again.

Thanks for listening to my rant if you stayed this long.

Finally got to change my name to my main username now. So don't be alarmed haha.

When you’re laying in bed, and your mind has turned to unhealthy thoughts, and you reach out to people, but you are in different time zones than the people who used to always be there for you, and then you realize that you basically have no one to talk to because you haven’t been able to make any deep, meaningful friendships since you left high school, and your husband has an early 24 hour weekend shift so you can’t just wake him up to talk about how you’re feeling, about how your minds eating away at you, so you go to the last place you can think of, cause you know, it’s always been there for you, it’s a little better than talking to a brick wall, cause after a few days, or maybe just a few hours, some old friends will come to chat.
Anyways lol, basically I’m stuck on the fact that basically the only people who really know me, are a few people from back home who have lives of their own to live, and my husband, who is in the army and constantly working right now. He hasn’t had leave since our daughter was born, and before that it was Christmas time since we actually took off and got to relax lol. I’m thinking about the fact that my medicine fills my senses and keeps me from thinking about wanting to die all the time, and I’m happy it’s helping me, but at the same time I don’t know what I’m going to do for the long term, cause I don’t want to be on it forever. Mostly, I’m just exhausted and wish I had more time in a day to try and figure out how to function properly.
I hope y’all are doing well <3 thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings lol

My tummy has been feeling bad for the last couple of days and I kind of feel nauseous tonight. I'm not really sure what's going on, besides not being able to fall asleep. It's just about 4 am and I haven't gone to sleep yet. Yesterday I woke up with a really bad migraine that left me like a zombie most of the day. Blehhhhh

I did get new glasses last week though, which I'm pretty happy about. So I guess I'll try this new picture feature out and see how it works in posting lol. I've been playing around on the updated app recently. Currently on my screen, all the words are overlapping and running together lol. Not sureosignthat is.